Tongue-tied over the latest guy you found hot? If you’re at your wit’s end, wondering what to say to the guy you have a crush on, relax and take a deep breath. We’ve got it all figured out! Just browse through the article and you are ‘good to go’.
There’s nothing quite like the initial stages of attraction, is there? The stolen glances, the fluttery feelings, the unspoken signals that can leave your emotions skyrocketing one moment and nosediving the next; the secret playoff between two people on who will make the famous over-hyped “first” move. Now I’m all for the modern, liberated woman, but if you’re looking for ways and means to ask a guy out, that’s not really my forte. What I can do, however, is give you the ways and means to get a guy interested enough, and if your stars are in alignment, maybe ask you out.
When it comes to proposing, my views are more conventional with a modern tinge. I believe that you should help the guy, through hints and gestures, to let him know that you like him, but the rest is up to him. I know it sounds backward, old-fashioned – call it whatever you want – but isn’t it way better to have a guy tongue-tied about asking you out? See what I mean? Men and relationships are subjects that have bewildered women from time immemorial. The subtle art of seduction needs some serious work, as does figuring out what to say to a guy you like, so that you don’t sound like a complete dork. Take a look at some possible scenarios and dating tips.
Take Your Pick
Your approach depends on whether you are meeting your ‘prince charming’ in person or conversing through texting, so first figure out which way you wish to go.
In a Text
You know, of all the inventions that the modern world has foisted on us, I think texting ranks way up there with iPods and Swiss knives (is it a knife, is it a scissor, is it a toothpick, who can tell?). Why? Simply because it gives you the ability to plan what you say, and you can come out looking super smart, even though you’ve erased and rewritten seventeen times before you hit “send”. How cool is that? And in a situation where all depends on sounding ‘super cool’, that’s a serious advantage.
So, we’re going to assume you’re already on a text footing with this guy (very good work so far) and want to take it ahead from there. Since you have each other’s phone numbers, I’m also going to assume that you know each other, if only as acquaintances – maybe you study together, work together, or just meet at a hobby class. What you say need not be seeped in emotion – in fact I’ll go as far as to say that don’t get even a hint of emotion to begin with. Keep it light, keep it friendly and keep it oh, so casual. If it’s you that’s starting the texting, start off with something that’s vaguely common, not so much of a flirty text message – maybe a funny one-liner (but please not an obvious forward) or maybe something that happened at class. If you’re up to it, skip a class and ask him if you could borrow some notes – a perfect conversation starter! Follow the one-minute rule; after reading his text, wait for one minute before replying. This helps in setting a casual atmosphere and you don’t come across as jobless and “lifeless”. More or less the same rules apply to an email – light and casual is the mantra, chant while you type.
The difficult thing is to behave in a manner that’s not contrived; in a situation that is contrived. If you find yourself frequently tongue-tied, remember that it’s better to seem quiet than stupid, really. Loosen up a bit though – make a casual conversation, but draw the line at seeming perky and bubbly, if you’re not, and vice versa.
Figuring out a bunch of cool things to say to a guy and feeling flustered isn’t really going to help. If you two get together, it should be on the basis of what you really are, so keep it real. Do some research on books, movies or music he might like, and bring them up in the conversation; that should help. If he likes you or finds you interesting, he’s likely to keep it going himself, so don’t seem too pushy, and as a rule, end the conversation, text marathon or email spree, with a breezy ‘see you later’ manner. That gives him a chance to get back to you himself.
Things to Get Close To
Here are few lines that will guide you on how your conversation with a guy should be:
With a smile on your face and a little love in your tone, shower the guy with genuine and sometimes, may be exaggerated compliments. It’s not only for boys, but everyone loves compliments. Slip them in the middle of the conversation subtly. Guys may not come across as the ones who are particular about their appearance, but they care about it as much as girls, so using lines like Trendy shoes!, I love your watch, or something more intimate like Your cologne smells nice! will do the trick.
To spice up the chase, and to catch his attention, tease the guy a little. You can do this by pointing out a cheesy line used by him, or saying “Oh! Did you think you won me over?”. Do not go till the extent of continuously putting him down. The aim is to pull him few notches down and see how he will overdo himself to prove his worth. Guys are very competitive and they make it point to get even with you.
Remember that the thrill is in the chase; even a guy doesn’t like a girl who is easy to get. So even if you are head over heals for this guy, let him work his way into your life. Here is one trick you can use. If he asks you to meet him on Saturday, tell him that you are busy, but don’t cancel the plan. Try postponing it to Sunday. This will project that he is important to you, but you also have a life of your own. Get him to tell you things about himself; do not ask directly.
The golden rule is “your conversation with the guy should be memorable for him”, and no one remembers a boring conversation. So, the moment the conversation hits a downhill, make way for your parting words and leave. Before leaving, appreciate the time you have spent with him. You can use lines like “After long, I have had such a great time!, I didn’t know how time flew! or if you are a little shy, then you can do with a simple It was lovely getting to know you!.
Things You Must Avoid
Here are some pointers that you should strictly stay away from so that you don’t end up ruining a conversation with a guy you’re interested in.
Killing the Mystery
Stay away from narrating your life history in one meeting. The key is to keep the mystery alive and let him discover you bit by bit. Also, while you are just a friend, do not involve him in your problems or sad stories, it will just make him uncomfortable.
While guys love a “beauty with brains” concept, they hate to be lectured or outwitted. Correcting him and forcefully bringing up heavy and intellectual topics will not help at all. It’s not necessary to act dumb if you are smart and knowledgeable, but reduce the intensity of the conversation and make it light and friendly.
Finally, here are some lines that should never be used while talking to a guy you like:
“I am friends with all my ex-boyfriends“: This will reflect that he is just a passing phase for you and you are setting the ground for a breakup already. It can also be misunderstood as a forceful attempt to make him jealous.
“I beat you again! Want to play another game?“: In case you both are going out for games, play genuinely, but do not beat him every time, and insist that he plays again. This does not mean you should deliberately lose, but if he is really bad at the game, then it’s better to leave from there or let him win. Guys don’t like to be mocked at their weakness.
“I tell my best friend everything“: Everyone knows you do, but there is no need to tell him that. This will make the guy nervous. He will think over every action and overanalyze each step. This will steal the spontaneity and ease from the conversation.
“Johnny Depp is the love of my life!“: If a guy can’t call Angelina Jolie “to die for”, the girl can’t also. Like I mentioned earlier, guys are more competitive than girls, and telling them that they are already fighting for the second place is not a good idea. The guy should feel he is all that you aspire, and let him bask in that glory.
To conclude, I’ll consider bending my golden rule, if only a little. If contrived scenarios and flirting lines just don’t do it for you, just tell him that you like him; straight and simple. It takes courage, but remember, fortune favors the brave. What’s the worst that could happen? In many cases, as in the case of the fabulous first days of attraction, the chase is more exhilarating than the win – what you say may make all the difference!