Wondering how to handle a breakup situation through a letter? Find out more on writing a breakup letter to your boyfriend…
A relationship is something which needs to be valued and nurtured so that it enriches your life. However a breakup is necessary if one or both partners are not satisfied emotionally or in a lot of cases, physically. If you are planning to breakup with your boyfriend, the first thing that you need to do is think about it rationally. Think about whether you are just mad at him over an issue, which can be sorted through constructive communication, or is it something you have been thinking about for quite a while.
Maybe you cannot see a fulfilling future with your boyfriend anymore, you found out he cheated on you, isn’t entirely compatible with your life or you, flawed and reckless with no hope of changing, or financially unstable. No matter what your reasons, if you have decided to breakup with your boyfriend, it is time to think of a simple and straightforward way to convey this to him.
I know this must be quite a fix for you, dreading the idea of breaking it off with him – it’ll help to picture the scenario as ripping a band aid off in one swift motion. If it is too hard to do it in person, calling him would seem ideal. But if this is also too much to do on your part, then writing him an email explaining why you two can’t be together anymore is still a good idea.
Does the Idea of Emailing Your Boyfriend Seem Crude?
There’s nothing wrong in sending him an email, although he would feel offended that you chose to do it by hiding behind your computer. It’s quite easy to sit yourself behind the screen and type it out confidently, where all it takes is a click here and there.
Put yourself in his shoes – would ever put up with a breakup through email. Does the idea piss you off? Hurt your ego that you’re better than that? Or do you find yourself agreeing to the idea that emailing you isn’t so bad? Once you come up with an answer that you agree with, you can move on from that point.
How to Write a Breakup Letter Through Email
You may find it a justifiable action to send an email, but the truth is, does this guy really deserve an email and not a proper face-to-face confrontation? If the reason you two are breaking up contains ugly details, then emailing would be the best way to send him on his way. Here are the dos and don’ts of sending the email.
☑ Send him a text message and alert him about the email. You don’t have to tell him what it is about, just mention that he should read it when he’s free and not preoccupied with work.
☒ Don’t just assume he’s read it by sending him the email without notifying him. He could be unaware of this and may make plans with you or get in touch if he hasn’t read it at all. A lot of men don’t read their email religiously everyday, so giving him the heads up is important.
☑ If you’re angry / hurt / resentful / bitter, put these emotions aside because no one can ever think straight with any of these bubbling at the surface. They’d have to be tossed away, with a cool and calm head on your shoulders. The best time to write an email is when you’re not stressed or swamped with work. Take your time, avoid his calls, and text message him saying that you need some time away, before finally typing out that email when you’re ready.
☒ Don’t fill your email with profane, insulting remarks because he’ll just hurl it right back at you, aggravating your already unstable emotional and mental state. You’re a respectable woman who doesn’t resort to cheap shots, remember that. Be the bigger person and word out an email that is to-the-point and expressive, without being verbally abusive.
☑ Use choice phrases that will ease the blow like,”I’m sorry that it had to come to this but if we continue, we’ll both be wasting each other’s time and energy.”, “I think it’s time we both act like grownups and accept the truth that we aren’t meant for each other as a couple, but maybe as friends.” (choose this phrase only if you two can be friends without issues), “I’m sure you’ll find someone who meets your needs better than I ever could.”, “I’m sure that with time you’ll be open to change and be ready for something as big as commitment.” (for the commitment-phobic men), or “It’s best that we both go our own ways before things get worse, and do I wish you well.”
☒ Don’t blame him entirely for everything that went wrong, but own up to the parts where you were at fault. Take responsibility for your wrongdoings and give him a clear picture of why things would not work out based on the bigger picture – be it the cheating, the substance abuse you can’t handle, you leaving town to settle elsewhere or whichever reason. Tell him your sorry for things that need an apology and wish him well even if you loathe him. Don’t blackmail or use anything against him because it will only ruin the two of you. If he’s uncontrollable or too much to handle, get friends or family in for help.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially if the time spent together has been a long one. Brief times together can be just as hurtful, but it is better to end something sooner than later when it isn’t the best thing for either party. Good luck.