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Affairs With Married Men

Affairs With Married Men

Everyone frowns upon affairs with married men, but do they really know how and why it happens? Let's try to figure that out in this article.
Sujata Iyer
Last Updated: Mar 6, 2018
Day 1: Dear diary, I met someone today. He's so different from the other guys I meet. He's intelligent. He's gorgeous. We ended up having coffee at the office cafeteria. You know me. Of course we flirted. He's married. Let's see what happens. :)

Day 15: Dear diary, Well we've been seeing each other quite often. He's so nice and kind. And he GETS me. I mean I can actually TALK to him about anything. He's not daft like some of the guys who are my age. He's different. He's married. I think I'm falling for him. :)

Day 37: Dear diary, I could not bear the physical tension growing between us. So I invited him over. We had an amazing night. I don't know if I feel remorse or joy. He's married. But I love him. :)

Day 59: Dear diary, He says he'll leave his wife for me. But I don't know if he will. It is getting annoying. Her constant calls and text messages. I wish he would just leave her. :(

Day 257: Dear diary, It's been 257 frickking days! You know what? I don't think he has any intention of leaving that sorry excuse for a wife that he has. He told me that he cannot, because they've been married for 10 years now. Should've thought about that before getting it on with me then! I have no other option now. I cannot live without him. I cannot love without him. So I'm ending my life tonight. Goodbye.

Infidelity is one of the leading marital problems that couples are facing today. Many women across the world, end up having affairs with married men. Many circumstances can be responsible for women getting into this situation. Let's discuss what are the reasons and consequences of a woman having an affair with a married man.

Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men

Extramarital affairs can be of three types.
  • For most, it is a physical affair. One that revolves around sex.
  • Some women may have emotional affairs with married men. Emotional cheating is also a serious issue because it shows that the man is not happy with the level of communication in the relationship that he shares with his wife.
  • Or the affair could be a combination of both. Sometimes, the affair may begin as just easy sex on the side, but may culminate into love.
The reasons why women find themselves in this odd predicament can be varied. There's a little bit of sense of self, but mostly it's just plain selfishness that drives them into this situation. Some of the most common reasons why women approach and have affairs with married men are listed below.
  • High: Some women thrive on adventure in their personal lives. They want to experience a sense of elation all the time. Having an affair with a married man gives them this sense of elation. They love the danger and excitement of doing something forbidden, and hence they go for it.
  • Just Sex: An affair with a married man can be perceived as a no-strings attached, convenient way of getting sex. She gets satisfied and does not have to bother about complicated things like relationships and the tons of issues that come with it. It's just a matter of convenience to her and him.
  • Irresistibility: In some cases, the woman may end up having an affair with a married man just because she finds the idea of him being married an irresistible turn on. She knows that his marriage means something very important. It stands for love, family and other things, that somewhere down the line, she knows that even she would love to have. And since he's already in a marriage, she sees no harm in having a go at him because he has the experience and will be a worthy candidate for hers as well.
  • Revenge: Sometimes, women who have been betrayed by their spouses, have an affair with another married man, just to get even with their spouses. Plain and simple logic, but not justified.
  • True Love: This may sound absurd, but some women may have an affair with a man, even after knowing that he's married, because she genuinely loves him. We may ask ourselves, how can she not understand that she is falling in love with a married man? No one has the answer to that question. Not even the woman herself.
  • Loneliness: This is probably the most common reason for a woman having an affair with a married man. She feels lonely, she feels sad. She gets approached by a married man who has issues in his own marriage. She feels pretty. She feels wanted. She has an affair with him.
Consequences of Having Affairs With Married Men

Infidelity can have devastating effects on a marriage. Some couples may be able to solve them through marriage counseling or may not. They may end up getting a divorce. However, some estranged spouses may fall prey to emotional disorders like depression, and may even resolve to extreme measures like suicide. It is not only the marriage that faces consequences. If children are involved, the contempt that it breeds in their minds for the cheating parent can never be eradicated. Apart from the trust issues in the marriage, the issues with the 'other woman' also can have severe consequences. Let us see what they can be.

To the Man
  • Loss of interest in the wife.
  • Tell tale signs that he is having an affair begin to crop up.
  • Talk of separation or divorce become frequent.
  • Guilt may make him spend more time and money with the wife.
  • Irritability at the wife for no apparent reason.
  • Physical intimacy with the wife is reduced or absent.
  • When confronted, he may end the affair in an attempt to save the marriage or he may do the exact opposite.
To the Woman
  • Constant need of attention from the man.
  • Constant fear of being caught creates a lot of stress.
  • No concrete relationship is established, so she may go into depression.
  • Guilt consumes her, so she may become emotionally disturbed all the time.
  • Frustration and anger is aimed at the man and his wife.
  • This is combined with a sense of inadequacy and self loathing to accompany the guilt.
  • This may cause her to take extreme steps like revealing the affair or physically hurting herself or the wife.
Whatever the reason, having affairs with married men is and will always be considered a disgrace and an act of betrayal. The woman will always be looked down upon and will be given ugly names and ostracized all throughout her life. Even if the man eventually does leave his wife for her, she will be constantly reminded that she took what was not hers, and it won't be a pleasant experience. So if you're in a similar situation, decide for yourself, is it really worth it?