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The Body Language of Attraction

Understanding the Nuances of the Body Language of Attraction

To know if a person is attracted to you or not can be a soul-numbing process especially if you are not tuned to look for the subtle signals that go with it. This following article will help you to understand the nuances of the body language of attraction and put your fluttering heart at ease.
Rujuta Borkar
Last Updated: Jun 3, 2018
Should I go talk to him? Should I ask her out?
Maybe I'll be shot down without a second glance if I approach her...
Maybe he'll laugh in my face...
Does he like me? Does she like me? If I could only read her/his mind!!
Sounds familiar? The sweet anxiety and the longing looks that go with the new crush; where there is as much romantic beatings of the heart as there is the nerve racking anxiety and doubt? What's the solution then? Do you relegate yourself to the role of a lost lover? Or do you take that extra step and approach them?
Well that's really your choice to make, but what we can help with, is letting you in on the actual secrets (open secrets, though long forgotten) of the body language of attraction.
Most of us believe that the only choice left when we are in love is to approach our subject of interest and make our intentions or feelings verbally clear. Only then will we know if our feelings are reciprocated. That's where we are wrong, because believe it or not, there are a whole set of non-verbal communication signs and signals that are indicative of whether a person is attracted to us. Simply put, these are observing the body language signs of attraction.
As the term suggests, our body language is indicative of our thoughts and feelings. It is therefore possible for us to know whether or not a person is attracted to us simply by observing his/her body language. Body language refers to the non-verbal signs and signals that we give, which are indicative of our behavior―negative or positive. This happens subconsciously. If we successfully pick up on these signals, we can learn what the person is thinking. Similarly, when a person is attracted to another, there is a characteristic body language that he/she will display, thus in order to find out if the person is attracted to us, we simply need to observe these signs.
When a person is attracted to someone, he/she will display certain tell tail signs that assure us of the same. The need is to train our eyes to catch these signals, because unless a person has his tongue down your throat, (which leaves no room for doubt) most of the time they are subtle.
Most of these attraction signs are closer to the general positive or negative body language signs that we have come to accept in our daily routine. For example, we know that a person who maintains zero eye contact is not interested in what you say, or someone who is constantly touching his nose or fidgeting about is nervous. So also, there are a whole list of signs to know if a person is attracted to you or not.
Signs of Attraction in Men
It is fairly easy to look for these signs in men because they exhibit but a few of these as compared to women. Therefore there is no mistaking or confusing the feelings of attraction for something else.
Signs in the Eyes
Maintaining eye contact for prolonged periods of times shows that a person is attracted to you. It literally means 'I See You'. Not to be mistaken for a quick meeting of the eyes across a crowded room and then shooting the eyes down just as quickly, but a deliberate holding of the gaze. Maybe conveying certain things through it. Prolonged eye contact leads to an increase in the heartbeats and the release of an adrenaline-like substance called phenylalanine (PEA), which is the same hormone that gets released when we're in love.
If he continues to stare, or you catch him looking at you every time you look into his direction and then maintaining eye contact, be sure he's attracted to you.
Along with that, observe when he sees you for the first time whether his pupils dilate. Although one needs to be very observant to notice this and the whole process lasts for 5 seconds, yet this is a sign. It's a subtle way of literally clearing the eyes so they can observe you better.
Raised Eyebrows and Flaring Nostrils
Check for the slightly raised eyebrows when you meet him next. Observe if his eyebrows shoot up slightly at the sight of you. If he is interested, his eyebrows will continue to be slightly raised while you are in his company. If he harbors feelings for you, his nostrils will flair ever so slightly.
Smiling Demeanor
A person who wants to be near you will want to make you as comfortable as possible by putting you at ease. Thus he will usually have a happy demeanor. He will smile not just with his mouth, but his entire face―his eyes will light up and cheeks flush as he smiles.
Cherry Lips
His lips will get flushed into a slightly red tinge―because the blood will rush to that part. And if he licks his lips or touches them with his fingers―he's actually thinking about what he would like you to do with them.
Smoothing Clothes and Hair
The minute he sees you and establishes eye contact, he will move on to smoothing out his shirt or tie or run his hands over his hair to smooth down imaginary unruly strands. This is because he wants to look good for you. He will therefore will do a mental check to see if all things are in place.
Body Posture
You'll know he's attracted to you if he is leaning in to you, holding on to every word you say. His shoulders will point towards you and even if his legs are folded, the knees and toes will be pointed in your direction. This is to show that you are the center of his attraction.
Open Position
He will always maintain an open position and try to show his masculinity if he is interested in you. He will point out his chest, suck his stomach in, and try and stand taller without drooping his shoulders. Along with that, placing his hands on his hips gives the impression of a heavier body set. He might fold his shirt to show his arms if they are well built.
'Goods' on display
Sometimes a man will stand with his hands in his pocket or hook his fingers into his belt and literally point towards his crotch. So also, he might sit with his legs wide open so you can 'see better'. These are very unconscious signs to put up his package on display so that you know he is well endowed. In ancient times, women chose men who were physically strong so that they could hunt and provide for them and their children, and would ensure a continuation of the species. Though the methods have changed, deep down we are still driven by that same innate need.
Will get your Attention
He will constantly try to be as close to you as possible, always hovering in your vicinity. He will also try to get your attention either by being loud or devising his own methods. Something that will keep him in your peripheral vision at all times.
Eliminate all Barriers
When he is with you, he will try to eliminate all barriers that fall in between you and him. Maybe shifting a chair away or if you are at a table together, moving a glass to the side. So also, he might try and stand in between you and someone else to block them away and show them that you are under his protection.
Signs in Touching
The very fact that he allows you into his personal space speaks volumes about his attraction. Other than that, he will try and adopt several non-aggressive ways of touching you. For example―holding your arm or the small of your back while directing you to a particular area or letting your knees touch while you'll are sitting together, squeezing your hand, or sitting closer than required.
Signs of Attraction in Women
Women by nature have the skills of flirting and drawing attention to themselves. Therefore, when a woman is attracted to someone it becomes easier to notice these signs which are five times more than what a man displays.
Signs in the Eyes
When a woman is attracted to someone she will try and maintain prolonged eye contact. If she observes you looking at her, she will hold your gaze for 4-5 seconds then look down and immediately look at you again. This is a sure sign that she is attracted to you.
So also, when you see her for the first time and she is interested in you, her pupils will get dilated. This will lead to a doe-eyed softer look that is sub consciously brought about to show that she is attracted to you and wants to be able to see you better.
Leaning In
If she is attracted to you, she will want to show that she is there for you―interested in everything you say and basically holding on to your words―thus subconsciously she will lean into you when you talk. Many times, she will lean against something to show the curve of her body.
Licking Lips
Next time observe carefully and you will see that when a woman is attracted to someone her lips will become slightly flushed because of the blood rushing to that spot. Moreover, she will lick or pout her lips because they tend to get dry. She might even apply lipstick in front of you to take your attention to her lips.
Facial Expressions
When she is attracted to someone, a woman will always smile wide and full. Smiling not only with her mouth but her eyes and cheeks―her eyes will literally twinkle. So also, she will tilt her head sideways to create a pose.
Involuntary Touching
A woman will touch parts of her face like the lips or cheeks or her neck to get your attention to those places; it is a subtle way of saying she wants you to touch her there. She also plays with her hair.
Smoothing Clothes and Flipping Hair
Once she sees that you are in the same room as her, you will more often than not, find her smoothing out her blouse. She will also flip her hair and expose her neck which is a submissive way to say that she's vulnerable and is not threatened to let you in on her vulnerability.
Her shoulders will be facing towards you and her back to everyone else, thus showing that she has eliminated all competition and finds you interesting enough to be focusing all her attention on you.
Open Palms
Observe her palms the next time you meet. If they are wide open so that you can observe them, it means that she is very vulnerable to you and it is a way of submission; but on the other hand, if her fists are tightly closed, it means she doesn't trust you enough.
General Reactions
If she laughs at every small thing you say even when you know it's not necessarily that funny, you'll know she's trying to boost your ego and make you comfortable in her presence. She will subconsciously try to touch your arm several times.
Mirrors Your Moves
If you find that just as you lift your glass, she does too, or when you scratch your nose, she'll do the same―she's subconsciously mirroring your moves. She's trying to show that she's attracted to you and wants to do whatever you are doing.
So the next time you are tearing your hair out and spending sleepless nights pondering whether you should or should not approach that someone special―just follow these simple pointers and know exactly if he/she is interested.