Breakups are hard, and breaking up with someone who has suicidal tendencies makes it even more complicated. Your partner doesn’t take the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line the way they should. Things get ugly, and out of sheer desperation to make you stay, he/she can easily threaten to commit suicide.
Suicide is not a remedy.
–James A. Garfield
Experts believe that people who commit suicide are the ones who are trying to run away from a situation that they find impossible to handle.
So you’ve decided to breakup with him/her; making this painful decision has never been easy, but it is something that needs to be done. You’ve tried to salvage the relationship many times, and also change the way you look at things, but the situation is still the same, you are both different people, and nothing can change that. Now you finally gathered courage and broke the news to your partner. All hell broke lose, he/she accused you of being selfish, narcissistic, and even abused you. Tears were flowing continuously, he/she even tried to talk you out of it, apologized millions of times, but little did he/she know that this is something that you have to do.
Breaking Up with Someone Who is Threatening Suicide
Don’t Lose Your Temper
Understand that the news of you leaving your partner is going to leave him/her shocked and deeply hurt. You might not feel the same way, as you’ve already moved on, but your partner might go in a total frenzy. Be calm and try to explain the situation rationally. He/She might threaten suicide, but understand that he/she is stressed and possibly doing the one thing that they believe might stop you from ending the relationship; harming themselves.
Don’t Beat Around the Bush
It is obvious that you don’t want to be too hard on your partner, and hence don’t blurt out the brutal truth immediately. However, it isn’t advisable to postpone this to tomorrow or the day after. Giving it a rain check for later might seem the easier way, but it definitely has certain dangers associated with it. It can get your partner highly agitated and even make the situation worse. Hence, it is advised to be serious from the start, and be truthful about your feelings.
Judge the Seriousness of the Threat
Do you think your partner is extremely moody, depressed, or capable of killing himself/herself? Does he/she possess pills or a gun that can be used as a means of inflicting self-harm? Even if the answer is no, a suicide threat can’t be taken lightly. Most of the time, it is a desperate attempt to stop you from leaving, however, sometimes the threat can be pretty serious. The only way to know for sure is to know your partner, and analyze his/her capabilities.
Call 911, Just in Case
After you’ve had the conversation, and explained everything to your partner, try not to stay for long. You staying there could lead to more arguments, but just to be sure he/she doesn’t take any drastic steps, inform 911. Explain to them the entire situation, and be clear about the threats made with the details.
Don’t Leave Him/Her till Someone Gets There
It doesn’t matter how fake and hollow the suicidal threats seem, don’t make the mistake of leaving him/her alone. Call someone he/she is close to, and explain the whole situation. Say that even though things have ended between you both, you still care about him/her as a friend. Apologize for causing any pain, and say that you only wish the best for him/her.
Explain to them that you will always cherish the wonderful moments you both spent together, but you just don’t see each other as a couple. Breaking someone’s heart is unbelievably difficult, but sometimes it just needs to be done.