They say age is just a number. It is indeed a number which cannot overpower an emotional connect and a psychological comfort in a relationship. Relationships with a severe age gap have always been debated about by several psychologists and relationship experts. However, those who fall in love, irrespective of their ages, have a different story to tell.
Love has no age as it is always renewing itself. ~ John Galsworthy
Love is full of contradictions and confusions. We say opposites attract, and yet we measure compatibility by the number of things a couple has in common. We walk into relationships with notions fueled by best-selling love stories, and epic celluloid romantic dramas. But for some of us, love happens a little differently. It isn’t a regular story of falling in love with a classmate or tying the knot with your band’s bassist. It differs, because, it begins with what is normally perceived as a taboo. For instance, it could be falling in love with your professor, or you next door divorced neighbor.
With huge age gaps in question, many wonder whether these equations will get past the initial phase of extreme infatuation. These unions are questioned on their morality, and the older person usually gets compared to the younger one’s parents, further complicating the flak it anyway draws. However, when two people with a huge age difference come together to celebrate their love, there are certain points they effortlessly accept to making the age gap disappear.
All our lives we try to plan every minutest detail of our life, down to our day-to-day schedule. Some fanatics also plan when and how to get married. Thankfully, we leave falling in love to chance. We let our emotions take over and flow along with them to wherever they might take us. So, when two people sharing a huge a age gap fall in love, they flow to common ground. How they meet largely states whether they will stop at just a meeting or will keep meeting. If they are able to find a connection through hobbies, interests, and other activities that they collectively like, it will essentially define how their relationship will progress. The ability to share a common love with someone, and the attempt at understanding a fresh perspective on the same subject, connects them. And this counts for more than the arithmetic of their age difference.
Sadly, apparent beauty is very fragile, and those with an age gap recognize this truth quite quickly. This is the reason why they seek a bond that transcends physical attraction. Most young couples find the need to explain to each other their gamut of emotions, sometimes seek attention, other times scheme to make a point, or maybe resort to lying to prevent a confrontation. They go through this phase, despite spending a lot of time courting, and that is because they are yet to make an emotional bond. Young lovers take a while to move on from the physical aspects of a relationship and create a meeting point for themselves. However, those with an age gap work on the emotional and physical aspects of their relationship simultaneously. Making an emotional connect early on, thus becomes very important for the partners, bringing them on the same page, before they move on to the next chapter of their relationship. It is important for them to know that their partner, no matter how old or young, is going to stand by them in times of happiness, and in times of crisis too.
Finding Common Goals
A difference in thought for a couple with a considerable age difference could be about life goals. For instance, the younger one might not want to give in to a commitment or have children, while the older one might want to settle down sooner. Another difference could be about shifting importance towards individual careers. However, when they realize these differences, it becomes easier for them to deal with it, and tread the same path. As they begin to deal with the reality of their relationship, the age gap slowly diminishes, making the two equal contributors in the equation. At this juncture, the two do not see themselves with any age difference. They view themselves as responsible individuals, living their dreams together.
Maintaining Maturity Bar
Every relationship that wants to experience forever, has to maintain a certain level of maturity. What this means is that, both the people have to accept certain drawbacks of age difference, and learn to work their way around it. Also, while it is common knowledge that women mature faster than men, when a mid-20s woman meets a late 30s man, she know he is who she wanted, and vice-versa. Thus, a maturity level is also found, established, and worked upon, as closeness increases with time. Age solely remains a number and nothing more than that. It no longer receives the importance others believe it should.
Age is Just a Number
35 years difference
Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn
26 years difference
Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas
25 years difference
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones
22 years difference
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart
20 years difference
Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
13 years difference
Jay-Z and Beyoncé
Being in love with an older person is about redefining beauty, being open to the challenges it may throw, and never forgetting that common ground that once connected you. The interesting aspect about age-gap relationships is that, it completely questions your preconceived notions about timelines for achieving certain milestones in life, and pushes you to rearrange them. Age is truly a number that means nothing more than the number of years you have spent on earth. What matters above age is whether you’ve found love or not. And if you do find love, everything else becomes purely unimportant.