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How to Gracefully End an Affair and Avoid Conflicts

How to End an Affair
If you are grappling with an issue that involves ending an affair, you need to think about the injustice you are doing to your spouse. Muster up the strength to make the right decision before it is too late.
Smita Pandit
Last Updated: Dec 09, 2017
Why do people have affairs? Well, our heart makes us do things. Physical or emotional attraction to a person or his/her attitude towards you makes it enticing to share intimate moments with him/her. We enjoy attention and sometimes we fall in the trap of temptation. An affair could be emotional or physical. Whatever be the nature of an affair, from getting tempted to having an affair and then ending it, it all turns your entire life topsy-turvy. Affair or flings can be very alluring especially if you find someone who, at that time, seems to be perfect in every sense.
The urge to be near that person is so strong that you justify your actions. The lure is such that you jump in the relationship and justify yourself but realize later that it just can't go on. More often than not, the fear of losing one's family and other issues are bound to bother the cheating spouse. So, if you are having an affair with a married man/woman, it's time to rethink and stop justifying your actions. An extra-marital affair must be ended as soon as possible, unless the cheating spouse has made up his/her mind to end his/her marriage. If one has decided to end an affair, he/she must think about the best way to end an affair and then reconnect at home.
Ways to End an Affair
Though it might seem like an ordeal, you must realize that the affair needs to be ended as soon as possible. If your conscience has awakened and you don't wish to lose your family, the thoughts of ending the relationship will find a way into your head. Once that happens, the relationship is already over. Don't hold on to such a relationship with all your might.
You might wonder how to end an affair with someone you love. It is difficult as it involves a lot of memories and great moments of love and intimacy, but if that relationship was based on being unfaithful to another, your love wasn't pure and flawless. When faith is the foundation for love, life becomes blissful. If you have strong feelings for that person, but you think your affair was a blunder, you must end it soon, rather than getting run down by feelings of guilt. So, be polite and tell your lover that things must end.
Don't let your emotions control you, now it's time you control your emotions. Don't say hurtful words. Once you have expressed your feelings, try not to bump into each other. Avoid embarrassing situations and let this chapter of your life end completely. All this involves a lot of courage on your part, so muster up the strength to undo the wrongs and create harmony in your life. You might need a change from this emotionally turbulent phase of your life, so go out with friends. Pen your thoughts and connect to yourself. If you don't let your feelings overpower your intelligence, your own thoughts might guide you on ways to end a relationship gracefully.
Ending an Affair with a Co-worker
You must resist the temptation even if you find yourself getting attracted to a co-worker. At times, people get tempted and have an affair with a co-worker, and later feel that this relationship is becoming a distraction. It might have been an unemotional affair for you, but the other person could have gotten emotionally attached to you. This is a very tricky situation. Handling relationships at workplace can be a daunting task.
Don't let it get messy. Make sure that as you break the news about your desire to end your relationship, you are away from the office premises. Be kind to the person and make sure there are no hard feelings. Being harsh will only make matters worse. Let your decision be firm. Let it be crystal clear that it is over completely. Be polite, but don't give an impression that you would be willing to resume your relationship anytime later. Learn the art of diplomacy, and in case you bump into him/her, be polite and yet stay aloof.
Ending an Affair with a Friend
Friends first, lovers later. It's hard to realize how and when you fall for one of your closest friends. You might be emotionally vulnerable, especially when your marriage is falling apart, and you might lean on your friend for support. Though you might enjoy secrecy and romance for some time, guilt would envelop your mind later. Your emotional affair might start with you looking up to your friend rather than your spouse for support and care. He/she knows what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Your gestures, desires, and everything that forms a part of your personality is known to him/her.
You could be tempted to take the relationship at the next level. Affairs are all about temptation. If you couldn't remain 'just friends', but still wish to resolve your marriage issues, you will have to end your affair. If your friend turns out be mature, a gentle request to him/her might solve the issue. Give time to yourself and your family. So, reconnect at home and strengthen the bond with your family. The moment you feel that the affair has to end, take a firm stand. Delaying tactics will only make matters worse. So, take a bold step and stay way from your lover so that you are not lured back into the affair again.
Desire is the cause of suffering. Ask yourself whether your desire was right or wrong. Think of the reason why you got lured into having an affair. Communicate with your spouse and work things out if possible. Don't belittle your love by cheating on your spouse. Why make lies and excuses for some thrill which will not last forever. So, why have an extra-marital affair?