Love is not always lucky, especially when the person you love is in love with someone else. It is a tricky situation. You don’t know if you should wait or simply move on. But it is not so easy to get out of a love triangle.
Are you in love with another man or woman while still being in a relationship with someone? The obvious consequences are an unhappy relationship, adultery and three broken hearts. Quoting the character Earl Smooter from the movie Sweet Home Alabama, “You can’t ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean”. You know you are in a love triangle when you have two suitors of whom there is a preference for one over the other OR when your beloved is in love with someone else. A romantic relationship involving three people can get very messy. You may be in someone’s life and you may have deep admiration and fondness for them. But, you cannot continue this forever. Do you know how to get out of such a situation? Maybe you don’t. Love does switch off a part of your brain and everything becomes so complicated and confusing. It is okay if you don’t know what to do, which is why I have explained the solution from the shoes of all three sides of the triangle.
When You are the ‘Other’ Person
It is always difficult to be the other woman or man in your lover’s life. You don’t enjoy the rights that you should as a partner. Your love gets no acknowledgment before the world. You have to keep it all under the sheets and then even share the love with someone else who rightfully claims their ownership over your lover’s heart. Love makes us do crazy things… even willingly being the ‘other’ person. But, you need to get out of it with or without your lover. Else you will forever be stuck in a rut. Ending such a relationship is not so easy but you need to tell your lover that they can only be on either side. Tell them to either choose you or go back to where they came from. It’s about time you claim what is yours and what you deserve. And once you have made the decision to leave, stay determined because a fickle mind is a battle lost. The grief of separation will be present but if you truly promise to recuperate, you will find yourself in no time in the arms of a lover who respects and loves you unconditionally. You just need to believe in yourself and stop letting your insecurities prevent you from achieving the happiness that you deserve.
When You are in Love with Two People
Are you in love with two people? That is such a complicated situation. You are not with this one completely and you are not with that one either. What are you doing? Being in love with two people is like keeping your heart in a love limbo, a place where you will never be able to move on and enjoy a relationship, be with someone and be sure of it. You are preventing all three of you from moving on. The attention of two lovers is exciting but it serves no good when you cannot fully commit to even one. Not to forget, the guilt of it all that prevents you from having a healthy relationship with either of your lovers. Even if you are secretly in love with the second person and he/she does not know it, don’t even tell. You need to get that person out of your thoughts. Out of sight, out of mind. This is easier than you think it is because every person can control his/her mind. If you cannot, you will remain helpless. You have to choose either of the two people and then decide to be with one of them. Time mends everything and you will see that with time, you will be over the other person before you even know it.
“With Love, as one door closes, another opens.” ~ Tienah Nyanga
When You are in Love Outside Your Relationship
Even when the general perceptions are that a person cannot fall in love with two people at the same time, our cinema is full of movies based on such themes and circumstances. It does happen in real life too. If you are the person in love with two people, you know it definitely does! It is a love addiction. So, how are you going to get out of this love triangle? You need to make a decision. You are essentially cheating on both your partners and in the process, hurting all three of you. Those who know, may think you are lucky to deserve the love of two people, but, inside your heart you know the complication of your actions that may rock your life, like an explosive storm suddenly, any day. Aren’t you just tired already of shuttling and hiding your affair? The tension of getting caught may be giving you the thrills, but you cannot act so selfishly especially towards the people you love. You have to let one of them go, don’t delay that decision. Now is the time, not later. You will end up hurting one of them but at least you will let them go and get the love of one person wholly.
You may make your choices based on the circumstances in your life. You love both of them but, now, you will have the chance to give all your love to one person just the way they give it to you. Stick to your decision and vow never to repeat your mistake again. Love affairs can turn very ugly and end up in grotesque crimes. Get out of it before it comes and gets you!
When You Find Out about your Partner’s Infidelity
Nothing can kill you more than knowing that the one you love so dearly is not even in love with you. Worse, he/she loves someone else. You may feel betrayed and foolish. What are you going to do now about this situation? The best thing to do is to accept the truth and confront your partner on it. If you keep mum about it or pretend to be blind, you will make yourself fall harder into a pit of pain. You will also unwillingly encourage your partner to continue with such kind of behavior. Are you willing to stay in this relationship and make it work? Then, first, ask your partner what he/she wants. Give them an ultimatum that you expect their answer by a certain period. Give yourself time too and do not communicate. If you want to work it out, do not admit unless your partner does and tells you that they are willing to mend their ways. Start afresh. Is that not the option for you? Vent your anger on him and express your disappointment, then, try to get over the breakup.
It is not easy ending a romantic relationship which involves three people, but you will thank yourself later and live happily after, minus a third person. You will breathe a sigh of relief. Nobody wants to be in such a love turmoil because then it starts messing with your head and your life. You will never be truly happy from the inside because there will only be short-lived and fleeting moments of happiness. Ultimately, your inner voice will haunt you until you get yourself out of it and never go back.