The chemistry is missing. In the ship of your relation, you both are no longer the sailors, it is just moving with the wind. You cannot trust the wind, it doesn’t know the right direction. Only the sailors of the ship can guide it to its ultimate destination. Was a breakup the destination of your ship? I guess not. Save it, before it sinks.
Arguments, petty fights, and differences in opinion either bring you closer to the person or they just drift you apart from him/her. These things are bound to occur in any relationship, which makes it go through ups and some killing downs. There is always one who gets more love and the other one who loves more. The latter here is the one who usually takes the first step in fixing an argument, and the former learns.
But what if ego takes control over both of you, and you become unrelenting in budging from your respective stands. What if both of you, a once madly in love couple, expect the other one to apologize first. No one else can fix what has gone wrong but you. Yes, it was a big fight that threatens your future with your partner now; yes, I agree it was really big and you felt why you even dated such a person, forget loved.
Has the magic gone after that nasty fight, are you not happy being in the relationship? You might feel something is missing – the feeling of having the best person by your side. You fear your love will halt at a breakup. Kick the “breakup” word out of your dictionary for now, you have loved the person and cannot let go of him/her just because you had a fight. Save your love, recreate it.
Saving a Relationship on the Brink
A “dying relationship”, how melancholic these two words are. I don’t want you to sink into a more melancholic mood. The moment demands you to introspect and think on ways to save what you once had. You surely love the person, because that is the reason you are here. The reason the ship is sinking is because the iceberg (argument) has hit it.
What you need to do is leave your grudges and talk patiently with your partner. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner, with the same feeling of “I mean it” in your heart? Or are you just saying those three magic words for the sake of it
If you do love the person and want the relation to work, do the following first. Just say it with all your heart, force him/her to go down memory lane and think of your wonderful times together.
One needs to learn to forgive, if not forget. Learn not to bring that factor into your discussion every single time. And this holds true no matter who was wrong. If only one of you apologizes means more fights. Thus talk it out with your partner and say how much you love and want the relationship to ‘sail’. If you are not comfortable expressing your love verbally, take the help of a letter. A letter will convey it all, with your partner listening to your points patiently.
The argument could be about an impending marriage, with one wanting it and the other loathing it. This could be solved; you just need to convince your partner that you love him/her for life. Another reason could be, you made a mistake unknowingly and cheated. The positive is that your ship is still sailing, even after such a big mistake. Only your consistent good behavior can pardon and bury this mistake.
In a gist, take the first step forward. There is a solution to every problem, no matter how big the problem is. The need of the hour is: Burial of egos, a big heart that forgives, and the willingness to adjust and make changes in your behavior. There are plenty of other factors that may cause ugly fights between couples.
Arguments in a married couple are common as the two have to balance their lives and adjust with each other. Counseling from an expert can also help you in a positive way.
Even introspection may help you. Often, under an angry spell, we say things that we do not mean and do things without thinking. Did you mention about breaking up, in a fit of rage? For smooth navigation, the two partners should have respect and love for each other. If one falls, the other should hold him.
If one loses one’s calm, the other one should remain calm. If one becomes stubborn, the other one should relent and let go. Balancing and complementing each other is the secret ingredient that keeps a relationship sailing.
To bring back love, there are plenty of ways, though you have to make an effort for them to work. Thus take all possible steps to recreate the magic that you knew you once had and save it from dying. If you have loved a person, you still love him/her. Love never dies, it is just the chemistry that fades, due to issues like arguments and quarrels. Doing all you can to brighten it will pay off and the relationship will start sailing in the desired direction again.