Running into an ex is totally awkward, but it is something that usually happens to all. The universe plays its dumb practical jokes on all of us, and this is one of the worst ones. Even if the relationship ended on good terms, no one really wants to bump into their ex, but if that does happen, here are certain tips on how to handle this difficult situation.
The odds of bumping into the one who broke your heart are incredibly high. The odds of bumping into him when you look like shit are even higher.
Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 2: Episode 1
I don’t know about you, but I always thought of running like a roadrunner if I ever encountered my ex. It isn’t that I miss her or regret ending things with her. I just want to avoid the tension that is sure to arise when we cross each other’s path. It actually took sometime before I finally encountered her at a restaurant, and to my surprise, there was no tension or awkwardness, we both had moved on, and actually wished each other well.
Well, that might not be the case with everyone. You could run into an ex boyfriend/girlfriend somewhere at a party, a concert, or at a coffee shop. You may encounter a rush of feelings that usually depend on how good or bad your breakup went. There are a million things that you feel at that very moment, and if you really want to handle the situation in the right manner, and by right I mean feeling good and awesome in front of your ex, here are certain tips to keep in mind when you bump into him/her.
Many would find this suggestion pointless, but it always works, you just need to play it correctly. Even though you know you may run into your ex at a certain place, the moment you see him/her, look effortlessly surprised. Start with Hey! How are you? It’s good to see you after so long. Don’t chat too much; exchange pleasantries and move from there. No matter what you are feeling inside, sometimes you just need to do the mature thing and move on, fast.
Don’t Run or Hide
It is never wise to run or play hide-and-seek with your ex. If you saw your ex, chances are that he/she saw you as well. Worst case scenario – you see your ex with someone. Whichever situation you are in, running away is not the answer, it makes you look sick and pathetic, and trust me, you are better than that.
So you both saw each other, now what? It really makes no sense to stand in a corner and just pretend like you don’t know each other. If you don’t carry any harsh feelings in your heart, by all means go and say hello. Be the bigger person here, walk over and say hello, and ask how he/she is doing. Chat for few minutes, and then proceed to do your own thing.
I know it is easier said than done, and when you bump into an ex, even if you don’t want to, you end up spending more time than usually planned. However, if the breakup is still fresh and new, it is time get a hold on yourself, and avoid spending more than 2 to 3 minutes together. In certain instances, where the breakup was amicable, you can always have a pleasant conversation, and ask about each others’ well-being.
Don’t Discuss the Past
If somehow you two are forced to be in the same room, then avoid discussing the glorious past that you two once shared. The love and compassion that you once shared is history, so no point bringing that up. Limit the conversation to the weather, turbulent economy, or work. If your ex tries to bring up the relationship talk, politely change the subject. Discussing it now is probably not the best idea, and it might send you down a path you don’t want to go.
Don’t Blabber About Your Current Relationship Status
It is quite natural to talk about your new relationship status in front of an ex, but that isn’t going to do any good. You’ll only come across as a needy, bitter, and clingy ex who is using his/her new partner to make the old one jealous. Going on and on about your new squeeze indicates hidden feelings for your ex, and it shows that you still aren’t over him/her. Even if he/she asks about your current relationship status, just say that you’ve moved on to someone special, and try to end the topic there.
No Flirting or Giving Unnecessary Compliments
We all have a tendency to do things that are wrong or unhealthy for us, and flirting with an ex counts as one of them. Hello! Don’t forget that the relationship is over, and besides, this move seems more like a desperate attempt to attract your ex’s attention. Also don’t forget that you guys separated for a reason, and you don’t want him/her back in your life, so why do things that you’ll regret later.
I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to the ex. Sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore a chaotic situation altogether, even if it means neglecting the person whom you cared about the most. This doesn’t mean that you be oblivious to his/her existence, just don’t be the first one to strike up a conversation. Others might call it arrogance or immaturity, but just for once, let’s give yourself a little credit for doing what you want.
In the end, all I want to say is that you are bound to run into your ex someday. So learn to deal with it. Remember that you aren’t with him/her in the first place, and whatever he/she is doing right now shouldn’t matter. You are in control of your life, and it has always been like that, so don’t let a past memory or incident ruin it.