ISTJs make one of the most loyal and committed partners, but they are really bad in expressing their emotions. Do you know which personality types are compatible with ISTJs? Wondering if ISTJ relationships with INFJ, ENFP, or ENFJ work? You’ll get answers to all your questions in this LoveBondings post. We have discussed everything here, right from how ISTJs are in relationships, to tips on dating them.
“My love is something valuable to me which I ought not to throw away without reflection. … If I love someone, they must deserve it.”
―Sigmund Freud (an ISTJ)
You are really excited about that blind date your friend fixed you with; you meet him/her, and… there’s that instant connection. Although it’s the first time you are meeting, you feel as if you have known each other like forever. So, what’s the reason for this magical attraction; destiny? No, it’s personality!
When personalities match, relationships happen. Relationships sure are complicated, but every person has specific preferences which draw them to people of compatible preferences. It’s either the similarities that help us connect or the differences that attract us towards each other. It’s not as complicated as math, and you don’t have to calculate anything to find your ideal match. Just remember, when personalities match, sparks fly!
Knowing your own or your partner’s personality type may not magically solve all your problems, but it’ll definitely help you understand and accept each other better. There are 16 personality types according to the Myers-Briggs personality indicator. These are distinguished on the basis of 4 preferences: introversion-extroversion, sensing-intuition, feeling-thinking, and perceiving-judging. The following sections discuss the relationship compatibility of the ISTJ personality type.
Know Your ISTJ
I – Introversion: They gain energy by being alone, rather than through social activities. They are usually calm and reserved, but may not be shy.
S – Sensing: Sensing individuals are practical beings who live in the present. They don’t get carried away easily.
F – Thinking: The head rules over the heart for them. They are extremely logical, and always go for facts.
P – Jugding: They can be very critical and judgmental, and can come across as cold and detached. They have extremely high expectations from self, as well as others.
ISTJs in Relationships
ISTJs make very loyal and dependable partners. They like to take traditional gender-specific roles in a relationship. Their relationships are stable and satisfying.
Since they are very honest, they expect complete honesty and trust from their partners. Promises mean a lot to them, and they always stick to their words. The downside could be that, they take on more than what they can handle sometimes, and exert themselves too much.
ISTJs are not very expressive, and may take some―okay a lot―of time to open up. They are good listeners, and will provide emotional support as well, but only if they feel it’s needed.
Don’t expect romantic gestures, public displays of affection, or mushy dialogs from an ISTJ. They will be simple and straightforward.
Sometimes, ISTJs can be very insensitive towards their partner’s needs, and may come across as boring or rigid. Their by-the-book approach does make them seem dull sometimes. But that is exactly how they are, and they will handle both their relationships and work through this approach.
Winning arguments and proving someone wrong on the basis of facts and figures is what ISTJs love. They may not realize that they are hurting their partner’s sentiments through their actions.
These people are extremely mature, and can handle relationships really well. It’s not like they don’t have feelings, but they are not able to express themselves through words. Look for subtle signs in their actions, and you’ll realize how much they care.
ISTJs, being extremely stubborn, gel well with a laid-back partner.
ISTJ Relationship Compatibility With Other Types
ISTJ Relationship With ISTJ
Dating is anyway hard enough for an ISTJ, then imagine what will happen if two ISTJs are seeing each other! Firstly, they will take a really long time to understand their own feelings. Secondly, both of them will find it hard to express themselves. After finally opening up to each other, there are two things that may happen; either they’ll totally fall in, or fall out.
A relationship between two similar personalities can turn out to be very boring or plain. After all, every relationship needs some differences to spice things a little. Since, both the ISTJ partners will be logical and detached, you can understand how their relationship will be!
All’s not bad though. They can have a very beautiful relationship, as both partners will be loyal and committed to each other. You can expect a simple, straightforward, and honest relationship between these two individuals.
The Natural Partners!
ISTJ relationship with an ENFP has got everything: excitement, passion, and mostly balance. The out-going social butterflies that ENFPs are, bring out the laid-back and lighter side of an ISTJ, whereas, the ENFP gets someone who listens to their continuous chatter, and brings some order and control in their lives.
Their relationship works as both the partners have something different to add to their bond. Since they don’t share any preferences, there’s a novelty and exhilaration in the relationship. There will be no boring moment, as they’ll keep on discovering amazing nuances of each others personalities.
Of course, as the initial euphoria recedes, they’ll realize how different they are, and may end up fighting over petty things. Love, trust, and lots of patience can definitely make this combination work.
ISTJs are very compatible with ESFPs as well, as they share the sensing preference. Both of them are realistic individuals who live in the present. The way they look and perceive things is very similar. Thus, they’ll have a much more satisfying relationship.
The extroversion-introversion combination will help to balance things out. And, the perceiving preference of the ESFP partner will complement well with the ISTJs judging preference. The thinking-feeling preference difference may lead to some clashes and conflicts. The ESFP partner will easily get affected by emotions, which the ISTJ doesn’t care much about.
Although this pairing will have their share of differences, which relationship doesn’t anyway? But they will always bring out the best in each other.
ISTJ Dating Tips
Dating an ISTJ is no cakewalk, but hey, it’s not that difficult either. If you remember a few key characteristics of this inspector, rest assured, he’ll be the most loyal and committed partner you’ll have.
A surprise getaway for the weekend sounds super-romantic, doesn’t it? It’s not. Not for your ISTJ partner anyway. They hate surprises or anything that messes up with their perfectly planned life.
So, if you do want to do something fun together, discuss it with your partner, plan things together, and yes, then enjoy! Your ISTJ partner will love to take charge and handle all the details for you.
Patience is the key in any relationship, more so if you are dating an ISTJ. They take time to commit, because they want to think about all the aspects of any situation. But, once they do commit, they’ll never let you go. Give them time to open up. If you keep on pushing them too much, they’ll hide in their shell.
You may have plans to have a lavish dinner date, while your partner may act all stingy. ISTJs may sometimes act very cheap with money. Do try to find some middle ground, rather than arguing. It’s very hard to make an ISTJ change his mind.
It will take your utmost efforts to make your ISTJ partner try out something new. They can be very old school, and are averse to change. They can’t handle too many social activities either. So don’t insist on them accompanying you to each and every party.
If you ever start fighting with an ISTJ, it is better to set things straight, rather than using mind games or try to manipulate them. Just talk about things directly, and you are sure to sort out the problem. If you are right about the facts, it’s easy to convince an ISTJ.