Contrary to what people think, life after divorce is not just difficult for women but for men too. It takes time and efforts to get life back on track. The following section gives some coping tips for the same.
Divorce is never easy. After all, two individuals who had pledged to spend their whole life together, had been each others support system for a long time, who probably have children, and have worked to build a family, find it painful to imagine that they don’t belong together. However, divorce is a reality for many.
If you are someone who has just gone through a divorce process, settled all the major issues with regards to the parenting plan, child custody, child support, and alimony, it’s time to start afresh and think about your life. It’s natural for you to be in the grieving stage right now, and starting afresh is not going to be easy. However, with a few efforts, you can definitely turn things around.
Coping After a Divorce
As someone who has recently seen the marriage fall, you will be going through a gamut of emotions. Betrayal, anger, shock, low self-esteem–a person can feel any and all of these emotions at any given time. A part of you may even want to get back at your partner for the pain they have caused. A part of you might be wanting to reconcile. Having all these conflicting thoughts at one time plus a feeling of being alone, can take its toll on your physical and mental health. Some steps must be taken to prevent this.
Stay in the Company of Family and Friends
This time of emotional turmoil can be made easier if a person seeks support from friends and family. Rather than being alone, spending time with positive minded people will lead you to a path of recovery. Researches have shown that seeking support from others or finding people who understand your situation and empathize with you is easier for women as compared to men. Women are more comfortable sharing their feelings and fears with other people. Men on the other hand, are not so keen on doing the same because to them, asking for help is considered a sign of weakness. Hence, this aspect of closure comes easier to women than to men.
Do Not Involve the Kids
Do not involve the kids in your personal fight. Never ask them to take sides. Refrain from criticizing each other in front of them. Children need both their parents for growing up as healthy individuals. The breakup of family and the parents living separately, are very difficult situations for children to cope with. If these are compounded by your fights and personal assaults, the children may have problems like low self-esteem. So always leave them out of the picture.
Keep the Mind Occupied
One very important advice is to keep the mind occupied so that memories of the past do not keep bothering you. Getting involved with your work, taking up a new hobby, doing voluntary work at the church, or helping the needy, work to a great extent at these times.
Become Financially Independent
This is an important advice for women who were home-makers prior to the divorce. It is very important to ensure that you have enough finances to live the life you were used to. Apart from alimony, having a regular income by way of employment is extremely necessary. A job gives a woman the much-needed ego boost that she badly needs after a divorce.
Start Dating Again
For letting go of a relationship, it is important to move ahead in life. However, starting to date again is easier said than done. For women, who in most cases have custody of their children, there is no time to meet singles in between managing their professional and personal commitments. Asking your friends and family to arrange dates for you or looking over the Internet are good ideas. However, if the divorce is still fresh, avoid getting into a rebound relationship. Keep things casual and fun till you are emotionally healed and ready to commit again.
Divorce is never easy for the people involved. It is advisable to seek immediate counseling if you feel that the situation is going out of your hands and you are unable to control it.