Marriage too needs to be saved sometimes. However, the need of salvaging a marriage can be mitigated with a counseling session before the nuptials. This way you can sort out a lot of conundrum of expectations and anticipations that lead to unnecessary conflict.
And they lived happily ever after…
How all of us wish this was the reality of every marriage! A marriage, just like any other relationship, does have its share of ups and downs. To ease out the creases and get the marriage on a steady plain, the underlying problems of a marital life have to be addressed with maturity. Most couples delay getting professional help to save their marriage, which leads them to an abysmal fall. If visiting a counselor is not possible, take a look at a few questions below to see and understand the vehement undercurrents of your relationship and the direction in which the relationship is headed.
Questions Asked During Marriage Counseling
- Are you willing to take pre-marriage counseling with me?
- How are we different?
- Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage?
- Do we handle conflict well?
- Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding?
- Are we both willing to face difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
- How will we make decisions together?
- What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?
- Can we talk about sex?
- Do you think faith and spirituality important in a marriage?
- What do you feel about adoption?
- What is your parenting philosophy?
- Will one of us stay home after we have children?
- Do we both know where our important financial documents are located?
- What are our future plans for purchasing a home?
- Do you have any outstanding fines or debts?
- Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?
- Have you been in a serious relationship before?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- Can you talk openly about everything?
- Do you want to have a budget?
- Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
- How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then?
- Do you believe that we should be doing everything together?
- Can we each pursue our own interests?
- How are we going to divide up the household chores?
- How would you describe yourself?
- What do you like and dislike about your family?
- Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
- Why are we getting married?
- What do we as a couple want out of life?
- Do you think our relationship will change after we are married?
- If you wrong someone, will you accept it and apologize?
- Have you ever been violent in a moment of anger?
- What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
- Do you believe in spanking children? If yes, under what circumstances?
- Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
- If you could change one thing (anything!) about me, what would it be?
- Is there anything about your past that I don’t know, but should be aware of?
Finding a marriage counselor who will provide you a professional guidance is also a very important part of marriage counseling. Getting married is like entering a joint venture where both the partners profit from each others’ actions and are liable in a case of lapses. An ardent effort, every single day, is the only answer to marriage problems and solutions. Thus the expectations of a marriage have to be agreed upon mutually. If you are still confused about your decision to get married, take your time to figure out the dynamics of a marriage, instead of taking a blind plunge. You get one chance to do it right. So, make a right choice. Good luck!