A divorce can be a very painful process for most individuals. A person’s loneliness, strong desire to forget their old partner, or fear of being alone, can many a time lead to a rebound relationship. Such relationships are either enriching, or lead to more agony.
“What I wanted on the other side of all this pain wasn’t to win, to be right, or even just to be able to claim the cruddy consolation prize of being the one who was wronged. What I wanted was peace.” – Stacy Morrison.
A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after a broken relationship. The days after a divorce can be sad and extremely painful for both the partners. You may be filled with melancholy and loneliness, and look for a shoulder to cry on, to escape from this situation of being alone. Many people feel the need to be connected with another person, and get into a relationship, to refrain from experiencing the emotional pain and trauma all by themselves. Such a relationship could be a rebound relationship. You may desire to forget your pain and sorrows, by experiencing the passion of a new found relationship.
Signs of a Rebound Relationship
Making Compromises
One of the main signs of being in a rebound relationship is making compromises. You may compromise all your needs, wants, and principles to be with your new partner. In this state of vulnerability, you may tend to settle for something that probably isn’t right for you.
Comparisons and Expectations
Comparisons and unrealistic expectations are the other signs of being in such a relationship. You look for the same positive attributes in your new partner, as your ex. Expecting him to fill the void in your life, and make up for the painful experiences that you’ve endured in your previous relationship, can spoil the new relationship as well.
Feeling Unhappy and Unsatisfied
You may find yourself unhappy and depressed in spite of being in a relationship. The experiences and memories of your past relationship may interfere with your new one, making you invariably think about your ex.
Unable to Connect
If, after the novelty has worn off, you feel that your bond with your new partner isn’t very strong, then you may be unable to connect with him emotionally. Having constant fights, arguments, and disagreements could mean that you’re not mentally or emotionally attached to your new partner.
Problems That can Arise
The biggest problem of such a relationship is, you may unknowingly hurt the feelings of your partner. Your partner might actually love you, but you may not feel the same way. To avoid such a situation, be honest with your partner about your feelings. Share your experiences with him, so that he is aware of your situation, and knows what to expect.
Having to deal with your children, if any is a problem that may arise in rebound relationship. You need to keep in mind that it is probably more difficult for your children to cope with your divorce, than it is for you. If you do happen to get into another relationship, make sure you break the news to them cautiously.
Frequently seeing your ex after a divorce could also be a major concern. It may trigger emotions of sadness, anger, or regret. Try to keep minimum contact with your ex, to help you heal your pain of a broken marriage, with less difficulty.
Dealing with a Rebound Relationship
Usually rebound relationships do not last very long, if you have rushed into it just to find emotional support after your divorce. But this may not be the case with every individual. Take lessons from the previous relationship to successfully fulfill your new one. Most importantly, be completely honest about your previous relationship to minimize the possibility of any complications that may arise in your new relationship. Get into a relationship only if you are mentally and emotionally prepared.
Isolating yourself can lead to increase in stress levels. Share your state of mind with your friends and family, to help you recuperate soon. If need be, do not hesitate to seek professional help of a psychotherapist to comfort and advice you, and help you get through the emotional turmoil.
Most people feel the urge to get into another relationship soon after a breakup. It is a natural feeling to want a fulfilling relationship, to bounce back and make up for the previous one. Though this might play as a motivating factor, it’s best to avoid such urges. You need to give yourself some time. Understand what you expect from your new relationship in order to avoid another failure. It may be hard, but try to deal with the pain, anger, and shock instead of making hasty decisions in an attempt to avoid them. You need to realize that being single is an opportunity to rediscover yourself. Direct your energy to create a life you always wanted, focusing on things you may have ignored in the past.
