Negativity in relationships gives rise to problems like abuse, neglect, infidelity, loss of trust, etc., between men and women. They also lose respect for each other and the relationship, making their future as a couple uncertain.
There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best. ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox
The lines in the poem mentioned above are enough to explain the importance of a relationship in a man/woman’s life. Relationships have lost their innocence and meaning, they are not what they were in previous decades. Negativity in a relationship can come in the form of cynicism, whining, criticism, domestic violence, pessimism, discontentment, and impulsiveness. Do you find all these bugging qualities in your spouse? If yes then you are sharing your life with a negatively oriented person. The best part is your spouse won’t even realize that he/she is hurting your feelings.
Neglecting your Partner: The most important part of a relationship is to provide companionship and to be there for each other. When we start giving other activities and interests more time than our spouse, this gives rise to abandonment issues, which may cause ups and downs in your relationship.
Not Being Attentive Towards your Partner: Being present there is not enough. Your relationship will not survive if there are no emotions in it. In order to be there for your partner always be willing to show your love and support. Express yourself both emotionally and physically.
Being Dishonest: The foundation of your relationship is defined by these five letters T-R-U-S-T. It is the most important factor in any relationship. Lying and infidelity breaks down the relation between two individuals. Cheating can cause serious problems and in order to sail through this storm, couples counseling is advised.
Physical Abuse: Aggressive communication is never acceptable, especially if the conversation is leading to violence. Physical, verbal, or sexual abuse ruins relationships and marriages, and gives rise to negative energy in relationships. Make sure your abusive partner gets enrolled in anger management classes. Still if the behavior doesn’t change then it’s better to back out of this relationship.
Gossiping: Talking to your friends and relatives about your marital problems is fine, if you even discuss the solutions. But if it’s pure discussion then it’s termed as gossip which brings negativity in marriage. For instance, your partner may feel betrayed because you leaked out sensitive and personal information to other people. Gossiping can also be termed as emotional cheating by your partner.
Putting Yourself Last: “Nice Guys Always Finish Last”, is a line that has started making a lot of sense for men and women who are involved with each other. Martyrs are rare people, they are often angry, resentful and full of frustration. I am not saying to be inconsiderate and have no feelings towards others. If you want to survive and build up a successful relationship, you need to satisfy your needs also. Make sure people treat you with respect, if you behave like a doormat you are inviting negativity in your relationship. Stand up for yourself and argue whenever you feel you are being disrespected. Value yourself as much as you value your partner.
Steps to Overcome Negativity in Relationships
- Make sure you make friends with couples who are in a healthy relationship and can be role models for your spouse, spend quality time with them.
- If things are not working out for you and your spouse make sure you keep yourself busy in other things like hobbies and social activities.
- Don’t be dependent on your spouse 24/7, just because your spouse was not in a good mood at the breakfast table doesn’t mean that you cannot have a good day. Never let your partner’s mood spoil your forthcoming day.
- Always talk with your partner about his/her negativity and the effects it’s having on you. If your words hurt your partner, make him/her understand that it’s better to clear things now than to bury them inside and cause more problems later.
- If your partner is not cooperative you can get an appointment with a counselor and get some advice on relationships as to how to deal with such difficult relationship issues.
If you are in an abusive or negative relationship start working for the betterment of it. If you still can’t find any answers, take a small break from your partner, in order to make him/her realize the consequences of his/her actions.